Stupid Americans
March 22, 2011
After my post about about St Patrick's Day I got the following response from a true Chicago patriot. He is well informed in the matter as he is 25% native american, 25% polish, 50% irish and a 100% chicagoan. He is the reason why I'm in this city in the first place and I think his voice should be heard! Mostly because he talks so passionate about it and his reply absolutely cracks me up! Maybe he'll proof read and comment on all my posts from now on ; )
". . . so let me clarify this for ya. Here's the deal....When I'm in another country and somebody asks "Where are you from? You look italian but much hotter!",
my answer is simply "I'm from the states. I'm american. And yes, I'm a model when I'm not saving the world from bad architecture."
I would never tell a redheaded, brogue speaking, drunk irishman that I am irish (although I tend to believe that I can drink like one). BUT when somebody poses the same question in the states, what they are really asking is "Where are your ancestors from? Eh, what does it matter, give me a kiss!"
Everybody knows I'm american - they would never ask that. What they want to know is what my heritage is because this is the melting pot of the freakin' world. Nobody is from here...EXCEPT the natives to this land, i.e. ME (or approximately 25% of me). Typically, the amount you indulge and celebrate your heritage depends on how far you are removed from when your family immigrated to america. For example: Tony's father and mother came here directly from croatia on a long boat ride in hopes to get rich quick. Croatian is their first language, they attend a croatian church, eat croatian food, drink croatian alcohol, etc. Tony, on the otherhand, speaks some croatian, sometimes get's confused for a foreign exchange student, indulges in some croatian traditions, but also lives a very american lifestyle, married a half-chinese, half-assyrian wife and will soon (unfortunately) start an american family with roots in a mess of cultures. Their kids will no doubt come out looking like aliens with big heads, but don't tell them that. I'm very far removed from poland and ireland. I could do the research and figure out where my ancestors came from but I wouldn't want to disrespect the upper east side of poland. St patrick's day is completely different. It is huge in chicago because of the heavy immigration from ireland centuries ago. Obviously, the irish are a bunch of drunks, so people like to pretend to be irish and get retarded for a day because...well, it's fun.
After my post about about St Patrick's Day I got the following response from a true Chicago patriot. He is well informed in the matter as he is 25% native american, 25% polish, 50% irish and a 100% chicagoan. He is the reason why I'm in this city in the first place and I think his voice should be heard! Mostly because he talks so passionate about it and his reply absolutely cracks me up! Maybe he'll proof read and comment on all my posts from now on ; )
". . . so let me clarify this for ya. Here's the deal....When I'm in another country and somebody asks "Where are you from? You look italian but much hotter!",
my answer is simply "I'm from the states. I'm american. And yes, I'm a model when I'm not saving the world from bad architecture."
I would never tell a redheaded, brogue speaking, drunk irishman that I am irish (although I tend to believe that I can drink like one). BUT when somebody poses the same question in the states, what they are really asking is "Where are your ancestors from? Eh, what does it matter, give me a kiss!"
Everybody knows I'm american - they would never ask that. What they want to know is what my heritage is because this is the melting pot of the freakin' world. Nobody is from here...EXCEPT the natives to this land, i.e. ME (or approximately 25% of me). Typically, the amount you indulge and celebrate your heritage depends on how far you are removed from when your family immigrated to america. For example: Tony's father and mother came here directly from croatia on a long boat ride in hopes to get rich quick. Croatian is their first language, they attend a croatian church, eat croatian food, drink croatian alcohol, etc. Tony, on the otherhand, speaks some croatian, sometimes get's confused for a foreign exchange student, indulges in some croatian traditions, but also lives a very american lifestyle, married a half-chinese, half-assyrian wife and will soon (unfortunately) start an american family with roots in a mess of cultures. Their kids will no doubt come out looking like aliens with big heads, but don't tell them that. I'm very far removed from poland and ireland. I could do the research and figure out where my ancestors came from but I wouldn't want to disrespect the upper east side of poland. St patrick's day is completely different. It is huge in chicago because of the heavy immigration from ireland centuries ago. Obviously, the irish are a bunch of drunks, so people like to pretend to be irish and get retarded for a day because...well, it's fun.
Got it?! Americans are stooopid and will continue to puzzle you so get used to it. Now fix your blogggg. And be sure to tell every non-american (or aussie) that you meet in NY that you are swedish, your name is inga and you do the massage.
See you soon....IF I decide to come back."
-Garrett Corbett
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